Favorite shows: LIFE UNEXPECTED , ONE TREE HILL, BONES <3.
Jesse McCartney, Lifehouse, Travis Ryan, and a lot more.
Favorite movie: Hmm. The Ultimate Gift (=
@myrubyy is awesome. you should all just follow her, if you're following me. ;)
Post reblogged from laughcentre with 59,808 notes
your life hasn’t been completed until you see giraffes fighting
you’re welcome
Source: grapewallofchina
Post reblogged from Hilariously Offensive with 46,116 notes
what’s the richest kind of air
billionaire
i lost 2 followers from this in like 6 seconds
Source: theselener
Photoset reblogged from Child at Heart with 622,448 notes
How Animals Eat Their Food
this is my fav thing omg.
haahahahahahaha
Source: unabating
Post reblogged from A. with 127,781 notes
how do girls know that they’re off of their periods? do their vaginas like ding or something?
an elf pops out and throws confetti at us and yells “YOU’RE FREE! See you next month”
so you give birth to an elf every month?
yes.
Source: ifineededsome1
Quote reblogged from come home. with 9,226 notes
There are twenty four ribs
that supposedly protect
your heart from damage,
but I swear you know
the precise location of
each 4 cm gap, know
how to nick the arteries
and slip into my circulation,
virtually undetected until
the x-rays show you
lighting up my body
like a christmas tree.
Source: memereve
Photo reblogged from with 42,666 notes
Story behind this picture: I went to Starbucks in the city to order a coffee and when they asked for what name it was under, I said ‘Jane’. When I moved aside to pay, I hear this male voice beside me saying “I’ll have a vanilla frappe, put it under ‘Tarzan’ and I’ll pay for her order.” I insisted he really didn’t have to, but he said he’d do anything for someone with such beautiful hair and eyes. After we received our drinks, we sat down and started talking, making jokes and exchanging details. Maybe Jane really did meet her Tarzan.
Source: web.stagram.com
Photoset reblogged from Twisted fiction, sick addiction. with 41,073 notes
Disney’s Paperman [x]
Source: petitetiaras
Chat reblogged from Well Hello Der with 152,030 notes
My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh my god
- I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
- When chemists die, they barium.
- Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
- I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
- I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
- This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
- They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
- We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
- Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
- Broken pencils are pointless.
- I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
- What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
- I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
- All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
- I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
- Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
- A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
- The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
- Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
Source: rougemarionette
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